because i’m looking for a new job that i probably won’t find

i need to stop smoking pot for awhile because my current job, my past jobs, and what i’m looking for are all in the social service field and those always drug test. what i’m going to miss the most about smoking is our friday night tradition of getting high and performing dramatic readings of the w4w missed connections.

man, 5pm is taking so long to get here. 

things that happened in my absence:
our wedding reception venue closed it’s doors 2 days before our reception (thankfully we didn’t lose any money)
we somehow pulled it off thanks to my mother (and it turned out perfectly)
my parents, brother, and best friends visited but not for nearly as long as i’d like
i ate and drank everything 
i didn’t go to crossfit
my brother in law came home FOR GOOD from afghanistan
marines showed me how to really drink
i was hungover. a lot.
one of the cats got a bladder infection
i finally got my degree (or earned it 7 yrs after i should’ve graduated (and all i needed was one class))
i am now actively looking for a new job (ha!)

things that happened in my absence:

  • our wedding reception venue closed it’s doors 2 days before our reception (thankfully we didn’t lose any money)
  • we somehow pulled it off thanks to my mother (and it turned out perfectly)
  • my parents, brother, and best friends visited but not for nearly as long as i’d like
  • i ate and drank everything 
  • i didn’t go to crossfit
  • my brother in law came home FOR GOOD from afghanistan
  • marines showed me how to really drink
  • i was hungover. a lot.
  • one of the cats got a bladder infection
  • i finally got my degree (or earned it 7 yrs after i should’ve graduated (and all i needed was one class))
  • i am now actively looking for a new job (ha!)

today is annoying

and i woke up with zits all over my face and i’m super bloated which means my period is on it’s way with great timing, considering our wedding reception is saturday. awesome.

i had a dream last night that i was making out with a zebra

i don’t even know. 

ok it stopped raining again

i mean, obviously it’s rick perry’s fault. 

it’s starting to downpour

but that doesn’t make me take back anything i said about stupid rick perry and his useless pray for rain campaign because fuck, if it HAD worked, it would’ve rained months ago when he started that bunch of malarkey.

and it’s the first day of ACL. haha. 

I NEED A MOTHERFUCKING DRINK.

I NEED A MOTHERFUCKING DRINK.

i cannot WAIT til we no longer have a roommate

he fixes stuff around the house and is A’s best friend but goddamn he is a fucking slob and every time i clean something in the shared areas it stays clean for about half of a day. he leaves his food wrappers and take out boxes on all of the counters (sometimes he leaves them on the porch! or on top of the printer! or on the couch!) and when he gets a package he leaves the box out and do you know what our cats love to pee in? FUCKING BOXES. if we don’t have a box out, they are good cats. he KNOWS this happens- he once left his stuff in a box and left it out on the living room floor and his crap got peed on and HE STILL HASN’T LEARNED HIS LESSON. i do not like living in a house that smells like cats live here! it’s gross! and because i work from home and am here more often than him or A, i am, 95% of the time, left to clean it up. 

which brings me to the issue at hand- my family is coming to town on wednesday and they have never seen our house and i want it to look good, dammit (and i’d want it to not smell like fucking pee whether or not they were coming to town). i have the rest of today and mon and tuesday to clean the house and it just feels useless because i know he is going to leave his trash everywhere and we are going to have more accidents and it’s like a never ending cycle and i don’t want to have to clean today, monday AND tuesday - i shouldn’t have to! and no matter how many times A and i have asked him to take care of his shit he doesn’t. 

thank fucking god his girlfriend’s lease is up in a year because then he is moving OUT and i can finally not have raw fucking hands because of all the fucking cleaning i have to do on a daily basis. 

jesus christ. 

/tl;dr

animalstalkinginallcaps:

FUCKING HEMORRHOIDS. 

animalstalkinginallcaps:

FUCKING HEMORRHOIDS. 

(via ro-s-a-spark-s)